Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I need a beard to bite.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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