angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
