I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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