At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
