how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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