There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
