Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
