He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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