I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
