highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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