Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't turn off my feet"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Let's get the cat blown out
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
