Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
