it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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