it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
