I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
