Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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