well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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