ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
