ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
