I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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