just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
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I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
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There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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