I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
