I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
