I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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