Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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