Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
