Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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