ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
