Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
