# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
