I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
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HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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