remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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