Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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