i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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