I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
