Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
