why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
