It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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