I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
