Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
