i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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