Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
