conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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