That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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