dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
