just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My bed smells like the plague
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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