he wants to bone in the snuggie
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Vodka?
Forever.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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