did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
