I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
