I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize