Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
it's like iHOP with fire
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
