Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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