I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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