It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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