and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
