You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
