Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
