Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
