i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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