I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
