he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize